November 2008
Issue: Volume 1 Issue 8
Aging parents
Getting the best for your parents as they age can be a challenge. You may be noticing that things are tougher for them - but they don't want to admit that - or lose their independence.
There are a number of key things to consider as you negotiate things between yourself, your parents and the people who can help.
Communication is key. Always remember that your parents have been on this planet a lot longer than you - and that they have opinions about the way things should be - and the experience to back up those opinions.
When you're chatting with your parents about things you think they need, it's often smart to talk about future needs they might have - without acting as though you're going to upend their current life with no advance warning.
Do you know anything about your parents' financial situation? Are they in a position to pay for future home and/or nursing care? Many aren't.
How is their health? Do they have medical problems that might become more time-consuming to manage?
Are they happy? How is their social life? For many, they are starting to lose old friends.
If you see their health deteriorating and they seem lonely, this might be the time to talk to them about having a companion stop by on a regular basis to help with everyday chores and chat for awhile. Definitely look for someone who can advise you, your parents and their doctors if they see a need for other types of help.
Many states have training requirements for eldercare professionals. Check with your state agency on aging to find out if your state does. From there, you can research and get referrals for trained professionals. If you state doesn't have definitive guidelines, you'll want to research your home helpers even more. Ask for references. Check them out with the Better Business Bureau. And see if you can get guidance from geriatric care manager, whether referrals or tips on hiring good help.
If your parents mention medical, financial or personal problems that their friends are encountering, this may be the perfect opportunity to ask your parents how they feel about their friends' dilemma - and how they would deal with the situation if it faced them.
Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that you're not alone. There are online, government and other resources that can help you.
Check out classes and Web sites that talk about these sometimes-difficult conversations.
Here are a few places to go for answers to your questions - and your parents' questions:
When you're looking for help with a little bit of everything, stop by the Gilbert Guide, which offers details about planning and finding senior care plus expert advice on topics ranging from traditional and alternative medicine to senior moves and financial planning.
A Place for Mom is free online referral service for senior care including nursing homes, assisted living, Alzheimer's care, retirement communities, home care, and other options.
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